I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just found puke in my bra..
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
