were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
