I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
