just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
