Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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