No, you can still breathe under the balls.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
