Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
