Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
