This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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