I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
