she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
