I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
