Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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