I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
