You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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