the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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