Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
my sisters under your porch take her home
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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