i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
