The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
