It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
