what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I think my moral compass just broke
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
