Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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