So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize