ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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