Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
