He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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