I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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