just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
