Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
