Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
