Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
