I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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