that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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