stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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