you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
