I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
