I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
