yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
