this beer tastes like vomit already
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
