I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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