i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
