Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
