Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Help. Why am I so naked?
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