Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
