I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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