Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
