you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
