My sheets look like a crime scene.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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