you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
