Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
