you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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