shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
