Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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