I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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