shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Randomize
