I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
