Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
