Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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