i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
