Already got asked if we're dating
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Holy sore nipples Batman
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
