If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so let's talk penis.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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