I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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