You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize