I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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